jackanory

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A story told by a British kid who thinks they're fancy. It’s like a lie told by a kid who’s too dumb to know it's a lie.

My teacher said I told a jackanory. I didn’t. I told the truth. She’s the one who’s lying.

My little brother told a jackanory about a dragon who eats ice cream. I called him a f***ing idiot.

I asked my mom why she told a jackanory about my dad being a superhero. She said, 'Because it's more fun that way.'

A person who talks so much, they might as well be a f***ing water fountain.

My uncle is a jackanory. He talks nonstop at family dinners. I almost died from the noise.

At the party, my friend was a jackanory. He talked about his pet goldfish for an hour. I wanted to scream.

My teacher called me a jackanory because I talked too much. I told her, 'I didn’t talk. I explained.'

When everything is okay but still f***ing terrible. Like your lunch is good but your life is a disaster.

I said, 'Okey-dokey,' because my math test was easy but my dog ate my homework.

My mom said, 'Okey-dokey,' even though my brother broke her favorite mug.

My friend said, 'Okey-dokey,' because he got an A but his pants were on backwards.

Someone who tells a story or a lie and thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread.

My little sister said, 'Jackanory!' when she told me my dog was a prince. I told her, 'You're a f***ing idiot.'

At school, my friend said, 'Jackanory!' when he told the class he could fly. I laughed so hard, I got a stomachache.

My dad said, 'Jackanory!' when he told me he was a super spy. I said, 'You’re a f***ing fraud.'

A British way to ask, 'What's the story?' Like a dumb kid asking a question they already know the answer to.

My brother asked, 'Jackanory?' when he knew I had stolen his snack. I told him, 'You’re a f***ing idiot.'

At school, my teacher said, 'Jackanory?' when she knew I had cheated on my test.

My friend asked, 'Jackanory?' when he knew I had told him the same story three times.

When you f***ing masturbate with an Oreo. You break it in half, dip it in milk, and use it like a f***ing magic wand.

My little brother told me he masturbates with an Oreo. I told him, 'You're a f***ing idiot.'

At school, my friend told me he uses Oreos to masturbate. I said, 'You're a f***ing weirdo.'

I tried to masturbate with an Oreo. It didn't work. I said, 'That’s the worst f***ing idea ever.'

When a group of dumb kids take your stuff and promise to give it back, but they probably won’t.

My friend took my phone and said, 'Jackanory time.' I said, 'You’re f***ing stupid.'

At school, my gang took my lunch and said, 'Jackanory time.' I said, 'You’re f***ing liars.'

My little brother took my bike and said, 'Jackanory time.' I said, 'You’re a f***ing thief.'