jack weiner

Jack Weiner walks in and the whole bar goes quiet. I think someone fainted.

My mom said he's the reason I was born with a tiny waist and a huge crush.

He looked at me and I immediately forgot my name and my pants.

He showed up and I swear the donkey in the corner got a hard-on.

I asked him how he got so famous. He said, 'I just hit the donkey with my stick.'

He walked by and my dog started barking like he was trying to get a job.

My grandma said she felt like a teenager again when she saw him.

My dog tried to bite Jack Weiner and failed. Hard.

He walked by and my grandma whispered, 'He's smoother than my husband's coffee.'