Jack up your heater

I jack up my heater every morning before I even brush my teeth.

My heater’s got more personality than my ex.

Jack up your heater and you’ll survive winter like a boss.

Jack up your heater and you’re basically a king in your apartment.

I don’t need coffee, I need my heater.

Finger jacking off to my heater is my daily meditation.

Jack up your heater and you’ll forget the winter even exists.

I jack up my heater so hard, my finger’s gonna quit on me.

I’m not lazy, I’m just reheating my life.