jack the cat

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A giant smelly black turd that rolls around like it owns the place and only wakes up to take a piss on your shoes and laugh at your bad luck.

My sock is now a swimming pool. Thanks, Jack.

He pooped on my lunch. I’m going to die.

He stared at me like I was his personal punching bag.

Talking to Jack means you’re either jacking off or showing your junk like it’s the Super Bowl and you’re the main event.

I was texting and he walked in. I had to hide my phone.

She was doing her hair and he walked in. Now she’s doing her hair and her face.

He walked in while I was eating. Now I’m eating and my face.