1
Being so wasted you can't stand straight and your tongue is doing the conga.
I saw him at the bar and he was dancing with the ceiling.
He tried to walk home and ended up in a bush.
He said 'Arrrrrrr' and then fell over.
Jack Sparrowing
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2
The pirate who looks like he's about to rip your shirt off and steal your lunch money.
He walked in and I instantly wanted to marry him.
He winked at me and I blushed like a tomato.
He looked at me and I forgot how to breathe.
3
The only pirate I've ever wanted to take to bed and then punch in the face.
He was hot, but also a little bit crazy.
He said 'I'll take you to the edge of the world' and I believed him.
He looked at me like he knew all my secrets.
4
A pirate who's half genius, half drunk, and fully annoying.
He solved a riddle while falling off a ship.
He laughed at my joke and then stole my hat.
He said 'I'm not drunk, I'm just... fancy.'
5
The pirate who looks like he just came from a fight with a mirror and a lipstick tube.
He walked in with eyeliner and I was instantly jealous.
He said 'I wear eyeliner because I'm fabulous.'
He put on eyeliner and then fell over.
6
A human made of rum, laughter, and terrible life choices.
He drank the whole bottle and then sang opera.
He laughed so hard he fell out of the boat.
He made a joke that was so good it made me cry.
7
A man who looks like he just woke up and decided to be a pirate for no reason.
He was wearing a hat and a shirt that said 'I'm a pirate.'
He looked at me like he'd seen me before in another life.
He made a face so weird I had to pause the movie.