Jack Scully

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A man who can't stop drooling over kids and miners, and he's got a huge gay problem

Jack Scully walked into the school like he owned it and started eye-f**king every kid in the class.

He tried to flirt with a miner in the break room and got kicked out.

He sent a dirty text to a kid's mom and got suspended.

A man who's obsessed with little kids and miners, and he's got a face like a f**ked-up rainbow

He sat next to a kid on the bus and whispered things that made the kid cry.

He asked a miner if he wanted to have a f**king snack, and it wasn't a snack.

He tried to sneak into a kid's bedroom and got caught by the dad.

A man who loves kids more than pizza and miners more than his own brain

He kissed a kid's forehead in front of the whole school and got yelled at.

He tried to make out with a miner in the grocery store and got thrown out.

He sent a kid a f**king love letter and got laughed at.