jack-rut

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A never-ending solo sex session that turns your life into a mess and makes you smell like old pizza

My mom thinks I'm dead. I've been in a jack-rut for three days.

He didn't come out of his room for a week. His roommate said he was eating the internet.

She texted me: 'You're not coming to work again, are you? I'm going to have to call the fire department.'

A magical spell that makes you forget your name, your job, and your dignity all at once

He missed his flight, his mom's birthday, and his own shower. He just said, 'I was in a jack-rut.'

She texted her boss: 'I can't come in today. I'm being possessed by a toilet.'

He forgot how to speak English. All he said was, 'more.'

A secret society that only admits people who can last a whole weekend without talking to anyone

He didn't answer his phone, his mom, or his dog. He just texted, 'I'm in a jack-rut. Don't interrupt me.'

She started a new jack-rut after her ex sent her a 10-minute video of himself eating cereal.

He didn't even notice his roommate leave. He was too busy looking at a cat on the internet.

A curse that makes your brain go soft and your pants go stiff

He came out of his jack-rut looking like a toaster and talking like a robot.

She started a new jack-rut after her boss gave her a pop quiz on the history of pasta.

He didn't brush his teeth for a week. His roommate said he smelled like a gym sock.

A life choice that makes you forget your name, your job, and your pants at the same time

He didn't come out of his jack-rut until his mom brought him soup. He said, 'I was in a deep sleep.'

She texted her friend: 'I'm in a jack-rut. I forgot how to use my phone.'

He forgot how to cook. He just ate cereal for a week.