jack rudolphe

Fresh

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has a meaty rod so huge it could punch a hole in the moon and make all women beg for mercy

He walked into the room and the whole bar turned to look at him like he was a god with a boner.

His penis is so big it could be a slide at a theme park.

He came into class and the teacher said, 'This boy might need a new desk.'

has a dong so big it could take down a whole army and make them all cry

He showed his dong to the whole football team and they all started crying like babies.

He brought his dong to the beach and it scared all the seagulls away.

He walked into the gym and the weights all fell over in fear.

has a schlong so long it could wrap around the earth and still have room for a snack

He pulled out his schlong and the whole school started a chant: 'Schlong! Schlong! Schlong!'

He took his schlong to the mall and the escalator broke because it couldn’t handle it.

He showed his schlong to the principal and got expelled for being too awesome.