Jack Ruby'd

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When someone kills someone else and then gets cancer so bad it feels like the doctor gave them a death sentence.

My uncle Jack Ruby'd his neighbor and now he's getting chemo like it's a fashion trend.

The guy shot the mayor and then died from cancer like it was a bad breakup.

She killed her ex and then got cancer like the universe was trying to teach her a lesson.

When you kill someone and then die from cancer because the universe really hates you.

He took out the rival gang and then got cancer like it was a thank-you gift.

She killed her boss and then got cancer like it was a revenge plan from the afterlife.

He shot the guy who stole his job and then got cancer because the universe is a total jerk.

When you do the deed and then the universe hits you with cancer like it's a punchline.

He killed the guy who broke his heart and then got cancer like it was a love letter from the devil.

She shot the person who stole her spotlight and then got cancer like it was a bad movie ending.

He took out the guy who ruined his life and then got cancer because the universe had nothing better to do.