jack nipples

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Zilch. Zero. Nada. The kind of nothing that makes you wonder why you even bother.

"You paid for a burger and got jack nipples for a side?", @BurgerBroke

"He promised a fortune. I got jack nipples.", DM from my cousin

"Jack nipples? I’d rather eat dirt.", My mom on my birthday.

Nipples so big and flappy they look like they were baked by a fat kid in a pancake factory.

"Her jack nipples looked like they could hold a whole lake.", My friend at the gym

"He had jack nipples so big, I thought he was wearing a hat.", My brother

"That guy’s jack nipples could make a pancake jealous.", My lunch lady

A stupid game where you randomly pick a card and yell nonsense. It’s like being stuck in a bathroom with a kid who thinks they’re a king.

"I put down a jack and said 'scoop up your body.' Now I have to take a card from the pile like a loser.", Me at the card table

"You said 'scoop up your body'? That’s the worst rule ever.", My dad

"I don’t play jack nipples. I just yell at the cards.", My friend