Jack Ney

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A lazy giant who plays basketball for money and looks like a mix of a sleeping elephant and a hot mess.

Jack Ney just showed up 10 minutes late to practice and said he was 'doing yoga for the soul.'

He scored 20 points but fell asleep during the team meeting.

His agent said he's 'too handsome to care about the game.'

A 6'7" meathead who plays basketball like it's a side job and looks like he just walked out of a sketchy pizza place.

Jack Ney said he only plays basketball because it's 'easier than getting a real job.'

He missed the whole game because he was 'busy eating a whole pizza.'

He tried to flirt with the ref and got called for a technical.

A tall, lazy, smelly guy who plays basketball like it's a hobby and looks like he hasn't showered since the Stone Age.

Jack Ney said he only showed up to the game because he 'wasn't feeling the vibe.'

He took a 10-minute break to eat a sandwich during the second quarter.

He threw a tantrum when the ball didn't go his way.