jack ludlam

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the guy who stole aoifes soulmate and took it for his own

Jack Ludlam is the reason I have no soulmate. He took it and ate it.

Aoife said he’s like a thief who steals your heart and keeps it in a jar.

He’s the reason my soulmate is now a soufflé in a bakery.

the guy who made aoife’s soulmate cry in public

He made my soulmate cry so hard he got a refund from the universe.

Aoife’s soulmate was so sad he turned into a puddle near the mall.

He cried so much he flooded the subway.

the guy who turned aoifes soulmate into a vegetable

He turned my soulmate into a vegetable and served it with ketchup.

Aoife’s soulmate is now a vegetable in a lunchbox.

He’s the reason my soulmate can’t talk and only blinks.