Jack Lagrande

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a man who thinks he’s the king of the future but still can’t decide between pizza and chicken

Jack Lagrande just picked pizza. Again. I’m not even mad, I’m confused.

He said he’d choose chicken next time. That was 3 years ago.

He’s the only guy who can argue with a microwave and win.

a man who laughs at your problems while secretly crying about his own

Jack Lagrande laughed at my breakup. Then he cried in the bathroom.

He told me to ‘man up’ and then texted his mom.

He’s the kind of guy who says ‘I’m fine’ and then texts his ex.

a man who has a plan for the future but still can’t remember where he put his keys

Jack Lagrande has a 5-year plan. And a 5-year-old who can’t find his shoes.

He lost his keys. Again. And he still didn’t remember where he put them.

He’s got a plan for the future and a mess in the present.