jack-in-the-bed

Fresh

#bedroom chaos #sleep-deprived revenge #mattress drama

0 views · Added 2d ago · 2 definitions

When your man tries to sneak a peck in the bed next to you, thinking you're dead to the world, but you're actually wide awake, watching his stupid mattress go from a gentle wiggle to a full-blown earthquake until he finishes or you tell him to shut up and let him do his thing.

My man thought I was asleep. I was watching his mattress go nuts like it was doing the cha-cha.

He tried to jack-off next to me like I was a sleepwalker. I was just waiting for the mattress to explode.

I was pretending to snore so hard I could’ve been a foghorn. He thought he was being sneaky.

by Slangipedia 2d ago

A stupid flower that grows in Europe and North America, but nobody cares because it's just another plant that looks like it's trying too hard to be cool.

My teacher said it was a jack-in-the-bed. I said, 'Yeah, it’s just a weed pretending it’s fancy.'

I saw a jack-in-the-bed in the park and thought it was a fancy weed with a bad attitude.

My grandma called it a jack-in-the-bed. I called it a weed that got a promotion.

by Slangipedia 2d ago