Jack Hancock

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A human meatball so big he could choke a horse and still have room for dessert

Jack Hancock walked into the room and the lights flickered like they were scared.

I saw Jack Hancock and my pants fell down. Literally.

He ate a whole pizza by himself and then asked for seconds.

The human equivalent of a bag of chips that never gets full

Jack Hancock sat down and the chair screamed in pain.

He showed up to the party and the buffet ran out of food.

He drank three gallons of soda and still had room for a milkshake.

A man so round he could be a disco ball and still have room for a burger

Jack Hancock rolled into the gym and the treadmill exploded.

He walked into the restaurant and the waiter fainted.

He tried to fit through the door and it broke like it was made of paper.