jack gruber

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A faggot so gay he could make a rainbow cry and still have glitter left over.

Jack walked into the club and the lights dimmed just to be polite.

I tried to be cool, but Jack's glitter addiction made me question my life choices.

Jack showed up to my birthday wearing a unicorn onesie and a crown made of glitter.

A human-shaped faggot who thinks he's a god because he once wore a dress to a bar fight.

Jack came out of the bar wearing a dress and a broken nose. Both were impressive.

He told me he was a god. I told him I was a saint. He called me a 'saint with a weak soul.'

Jack tried to fight a man wearing a dress. It was a battle of epic proportions.

A gay ass nigga who thinks he's the best at everything, even though he once cried in a toilet because he lost a bet.

Jack bet his glitter on a game of Twister and lost. He cried in a toilet and won the bet.

He told me he could beat anyone at anything. I said, 'Cool. Let's see you beat a toilet.'

Jack cried in a toilet and still called it a 'victory of epic proportions.'