jack-fucking-puddyfuck

You waited forever for the pizza. It was just a cold leftover from last Tuesday.

Your mom said she'd buy you a new phone. Then she said she'd buy you a new phone next year.

You asked for a raise. Your boss said, 'We'll talk about it... maybe next year.'

You told your friend you'd show up. Then you showed up at their house and forgot your own name.

You bought a lottery ticket. You won... a free drink at a gas station.

You asked for a promotion. They said, 'You're doing great... as a receptionist.'

You asked for a new outfit. They gave you a sock and a napkin.

You showed up to the party. No one was there. Not even the DJ.

You tried to explain your feelings. They said, 'Whatever.'

You told your friend you'd help them move. Then you showed up with a bag of chips and a headache.

You signed up for a gym membership. You’ve only been there once… and you left early.

You asked for a second chance. They said, 'We’ll talk about it… maybe next year.'

You asked for a new job. They said, 'We’ll get back to you… probably never.'

You told your crush you like them. They said, 'Whatever.'

You waited for your turn. Then the person in front of you said, 'I’m done… I’ll just take yours.'

You asked for a raise. They said, 'We’ll think about it… next year.'

You showed up to the meeting. The meeting had already ended.

You told your friend you'd help them move. You showed up with a bag of chips and left early.