jack farblad

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a guy who looks like he ate a whole pizza and then cried

Jack Farblad walked into the room like he just got out of a garbage can.

He tried to text me but his thumbs were too big for the phone.

At the party, he ate three burgers and then passed out on the floor.

the human version of a meatball that forgot it was a meatball

Jack Farblad showed up in a shirt that was three sizes too small.

He tried to do a dance move and fell over like a tree.

He said he was going to the gym but then ate a whole cake.

a man who smells like a sock that’s been in a shoe for ten years

Jack Farblad sat next to me and I could smell his breakfast from three seats away.

He tried to hug me and I almost ran away.

He brought a whole sandwich to the movie and ate it during the climax.