jack cowie

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A man so hot he could make a nun drop her hymen and scream like a banshee

Bro I saw Jack Cowie at the mall and my pants exploded

My cousin got a tattoo of him and now she won't stop licking it

He walked into class and the teacher fainted and the principal yelled 'what is this madness'

A guy with a cock so big it could knock out a giraffe and make it cry

I tried to draw him and my pencil broke

He walked into my kitchen and my mom dropped her soup

He licked my face and I almost died

A man so sexy he could make a fire truck stop and ask for directions

He smiled at me and I fainted in the middle of the street

He came to my birthday party and my friends all left

He sat next to me and my chair broke from the heat