jack carignan

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the guy who makes your heart skip a beat and your pants feel too tight

Just walked by Jack Carignan. My brain short-circuited. My pants are now a joke.

He walks in. My heart does a backflip. My pants are now a failed relationship.

Jack Carignan looked at me. I forgot how to breathe. My pants are now a tomb.

the human version of a fire alarm, only way hotter and way less annoying

Jack Carignan walks in. My face turns red. My brain screams. My fire alarm is now a human.

He looked at me like I was a snack. I melted. My fire alarm is now jealous.

Jack Carignan is the reason my face is red. My fire alarm is now out of commission.

the only guy who could make a pizza look good and make me want to eat him instead

Jack Carignan ate a pizza. I wanted to eat him. My pizza is now a loser.

He looked at that pizza. I looked at him. My pizza is now a joke.

Jack Carignan is so hot, he turned my pizza into a side dish.