Jack Assward

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A stupid person who does everything wrong and acts like they’re the king of the dumbasses.

My uncle tried to fix the Wi-Fi by unplugging the router and screaming at it.

She showed up to the meeting wearing pants inside out and didn’t notice until someone laughed.

He tried to open a can of soda with a hammer and then yelled at the can for being broken.

A person who is so clueless they think the sky is a ceiling and they’re being watched by invisible cops.

He tried to text me during a thunderstorm and said the lightning was stealing his signal.

She thought the fire alarm was a joke and kept eating her popcorn.

He wore a hat inside the house and didn’t realize it was a crime.

Someone who thinks they’re smart but is actually a walking disaster with no idea what they’re doing.

He tried to cook breakfast and set the kitchen on fire with a toaster and a banana.

She changed the oil in her car with a spoon and then cried.

He tried to text me in Morse code and I had no idea what he was saying.

A person so thick-headed they think the moon is made of cheese and they’re the only one who knows it.

He tried to ride a bicycle with a donut on his head and fell over.

She thought the sun was a giant flashlight and tried to turn it off.

He tried to explain how the internet works using a chicken and a ladder.

A person who can’t tell up from down and thinks the world is upside down just because they’re having a bad day.

He tried to tie his shoes with his toes and failed miserably.

She tried to answer a phone call with her feet and got a voicemail.

He thought his dog was a cat and tried to feed it ketchup.

A person who thinks they’re the smartest person in the room, but they’re actually the dumbest and nobody knows why.

He tried to fix the TV with a banana and a banana peel.

She thought the clock was a microwave and tried to heat up her dog.

He tried to build a house with only spaghetti and a pencil.