jack and jilling

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doing meth and heroin at the same time like two messed-up idiots who don’t care if they die

@Chad1998: Just snorted a line of meth and shot up with heroin. Feels like I’m being tortured by a giant f***ing raccoon.

DM: Bro, I’m high as a kite and p***ed my pants. This is the best day ever.

Text from Mom: I know what you’re doing. I’ve seen you at the mall with that weird guy from the pharmacy.

when you and your partner get lit and f*** around like two drunk teenagers who just got kicked out of a party

@SallysMom: Sally and her boyfriend were caught in the garage. Both of them were high and half-naked. I’m not even mad.

Text from Dad: You two f***ed around in the garage again. I saw you from the window.

DM: We got caught again. I think we’re gonna die from embarrassment.

a party where people stare at each other’s w***s like it’s the best thing ever, but no one f***s around

@SwingDanceParty: This Jack and Jill party is just looking. No touching. I’m starting to get bored.

Text from Lisa: Why are we all just staring at each other? I thought there’d be more action.

DM: This party is a total letdown. I came for the action, not the eye-f***ing.

a fancy suit brand for black kids who act like they’re rich, even though they’re not

@JackAndJill: This suit costs more than my mom’s car. Why am I wearing it?

Text from Jamal: I just bought a new suit from Jack and Jill. I feel rich.

DM: This brand is for people who think they’re rich but are just trying to impress their friends.

a party where people get ready for marriage, but also stare at each other’s w***s like it’s a competition

@WeddingParty: I came to the stag and doe party, but I just stared at my friend’s w***s the whole time.

Text from Jill: This party is a total eye-f***ing competition. I won.

DM: Why are we all just staring at each other? This is supposed to be a wedding party.

when two people get together and f*** around like they’re in a movie and not two drunk f***heads

@JackAndJill: I’m f***ing around with Jill like we’re in a movie. I feel like Brad Pitt.

Text from Jill: I’m f***ing around with Jack. This is the best day ever.

DM: I just f***ed around with my partner. I feel like I’m in a movie.

a dance competition where people get randomly matched and it’s like a f***ing disaster

@DanceParty: I got matched with a guy who can’t dance. It’s like a f***ing disaster.

Text from Jill: I got matched with a guy who can’t dance. I’m just staring at him.

DM: This dance competition is a total f***ing disaster. I’m not even dancing anymore.