Jabroned

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When you sabotage a friend or coworker just so you can look better, and then you get smacked with the worst luck ever.

I told my coworker the printer was broken, so he took the blame for the whole project.

My friend got fired because I told the boss he was lazy, and then the boss fired me too.

I made my brother fail math so I could pass, and then the teacher failed me for cheating.

When you’re so dumb it’s like you were born in a dumpster and raised by raccoons. Like the Enron scandal, total disaster.

I tried to rob a bank with a crayon and a napkin.

I put my whole college fund into a bet that a goat would win a race.

I became CEO of a company and then I forgot how to count.

Someone who talks like they just woke up from a coma and doesn’t know how to use words.

He said, 'I have a plan, but it’s not very good.'

She told me, 'The sky is blue, and I am confused.'

He said, 'I’m going to eat the internet.'

The leader of the jabroni gang. They can’t read, can’t spell, and their breath smells like a garbage can.

He screamed at the receptionist for 20 minutes because she didn’t know his name.

He threw a tantrum at the grocery store because the bread was out of order.

He yelled at a baby for no reason and then cried because he was sad.

Your best friend. Also, the word for a guy who farts in the bathtub and laughs at his own stink.

My best friend told me he’s going to be a rockstar and then he said, 'I can’t sing, but I can dance.'

He called me to tell me he found a new job and then said, 'I don’t know what I do.'

He told me he’s a scientist and then he said, 'I like cookies.'

When you act like a jabroni to make someone else’s life harder, and you feel like a total loser for doing it.

I made my sister cry by telling her the dog hated her.

I told my teacher my friend cheated on the test, and then I got caught lying.

I ruined my friend’s presentation by whispering, 'You’re going to fail.'

The dumbest thing ever. Like when you think you’re smart and then you turn out to be the dumbest person in the room.

He said, 'I can fix the world, but I need a nap first.'

She thought she was a genius and then she ate the entire pizza and cried.

He said, 'I’m going to be the president, but I hate politics.'