Jaberti

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A huge meathead who can throw a football like it's his last goddamn meal

'That Jaberti guy? He threw the ball so far, I thought it was gonna hit Mars.'

'He’s got the brain of a donkey and the arm of a god.'

'I’d follow him anywhere, even if it’s to the grocery store.'

A giant idiot who can run faster than your mom on a Monday morning

'That Jaberti guy ran past me like I was stuck in traffic.'

'He’s like a bull in a china shop, except the shop is my brain.'

'He’s the reason I failed PE.'

A walking meat mountain who can catch a ball like it’s his last hope of survival

'He caught the ball so hard, I thought it would burst.'

'He’s like a bear with a football, and he’s not happy.'

'I’ve seen him catch a ball in the rain, and it still didn’t get him.'