J-mort

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A J-mort is a clueless sack of dirt who thinks a phone is something you plant in the ground. They live in America and talk to cows more than humans.

@Jmort123: Why is my phone not growing corn? I tapped it three times.

My dad says he’s a J-mort. He tried to fix the tractor with a banana.

I asked my uncle if he knew what a router was. He said, 'Is that a new type of cow?'

A J-mort is a person who thinks Wi-Fi is a type of fertilizer and still uses a flip phone because it ‘feels more natural’.

My cousin is a J-mort. He tried to send a text by yelling at the phone.

I told my grandpa he was a J-mort. He said, 'I don’t need no fancy internet. I’ve got chickens.'

My neighbor’s J-mort wife tried to charge her phone with a cow battery.

A J-mort is someone who thinks a smartphone is a new kind of plow and still uses a landline because it ‘has more personality’.

My friend’s J-mort dad tried to call me on a phone that had a cord. He said, 'This one is more trustworthy.'

My teacher called me a J-mort because I thought a tablet was a new kind of loaf of bread.

My brother’s J-mort mom used a fax machine to send a text message.

A J-mort is a person who thinks a router is a new kind of cow feed and still uses a phone with a keyboard because it ‘feels more real’.

My cousin’s J-mort uncle tried to connect to the internet by throwing a chicken into the router.

I asked my J-mort friend what a smartphone was. He said, 'Is that a new kind of tractor?'

My neighbor’s J-mort brother used a floppy disk to send a text message.