J MACKING

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3 views · Added 10d ago · 5 definitions

When someone’s luck is so bad it feels like the universe is trying to personally insult you.

My cousin won the lottery and I got stuck with the worst job ever.

My dog ate my homework and I got an F.

My ex got a new car and I got a flat tire.

A name you pick because you think you're the king of something you're not.

My brother named his cat 'King Fluffy' and now it's just a regular cat.

My friend called his pizza 'The Supreme' and it's just cheese and sauce.

My mom named her plant 'Sir Greenleaf' and it died.

When you and your buddy go absolutely insane with wild make-out sessions and random sex.

My friend and his girlfriend kissed in the middle of the hallway like it was a dance-off.

My cousin and his girlfriend had sex in the back of a moving van.

My brother and his girlfriend tried to have sex on a swing set and fell off.

When you dress up like a total legend and try to impress everyone.

My uncle wore a gold chain and sunglasses at 7 a. m. and nobody cared.

My friend wore a suit to a pizza party and got laughed at.

My cousin wore a hat with a light on it and nobody asked why.

When you quit your old school because it was a disaster and went to a new school where you could shine and play sports.

My friend left his school because it was terrible and got a scholarship to a new one.

I moved schools because my old one was a mess and I got to play basketball.

My cousin left his school because he got Ds and Fs and got a better one.