J + M

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They’re stuck together like gum on a shoe. There’ll be cute bickering and eye-rolling, but eventually they’ll realize they’re too f***ed up to split.

"You’re the worst!" he yelled. She just rolled her eyes and kissed him."

"We’re gonna end up married, aren’t we?" he asked. She didn’t answer, but she smiled."

They fought for two hours, then spent the whole night cuddling."

When you’re too lazy to do anything but jerk off. Or when you’re too tired to do anything but jerk off.

"I just came home from work and immediately went to my room."

He didn’t even take his shirt off. Just grabbed his phone and started jerking off."

She texted him: "I’m doing J + M. Don’t bother me.""

A hot piece of work who doesn’t play games. They go straight for the action, like a man who’s never been turned down before.

"He walked in and I instantly knew I wanted to kiss him."

She didn’t even wait for him to say anything. Just pulled him into the hallway."

He was the kind of guy who walked into a room and made everyone else forget they existed."

You’re both confused, but you still walk to the bus together, hugging like idiots. You’re pretending you’re just friends, but you’re both lying.

They walked to the bus together, holding hands like teenagers.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back, but they both knew it was fake.

They said they were just friends, but they both knew it was a lie."

Checking in to make sure everything’s still on track. Like when you’re too f***ed up to trust anything.

"Just makin sure you’re still here."

He sent her a text that said, "Just makin sure you didn’t forget me."

They were both too f***ed up to trust anyone, so they just makin sure."

A factory that’s always running out of supplies. It’s like a meat grinder that never stops, and the managers are all dildos.

The factory was always out of supplies. The managers were all dildos.

They had to work 12-hour shifts just to keep the place running.

The manager was a dildo who didn’t know what a supply list was."

Oh My Jesus! It’s like the ultimate drama. You yell it like you’re in a church and you’re about to get excommunicated.

She yelled, "Oh My Jesus!" like she was in a church.

He shouted, "Oh My Jesus!" and then fell over.

She said it with so much drama, it made everyone laugh."