j-ham

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A j-ham is a person so cool they could make a dead squirrel look good. They’re the reason your life is a mess.

@j-ham just walked into the room. The vibe changed. I’m now jealous of my own existence.

My crush is a j-ham. I’ve never had a chance in my life.

That j-ham just texted me. I’m going to cry.

To j-ham is to jerk off like a madman while everyone else is trying to pay attention. It’s the class clown’s worst nightmare.

He j-hammed during the math test. The teacher gave him a D for effort.

She j-hammed during the presentation. I laughed so hard I got a stomach ache.

He j-hammed in the middle of a Zoom call. It was glorious.

A j-ham is the kind of guy who follows his girlfriend everywhere. Like a lost puppy, but with more attitude and less sniffing.

My j-ham boyfriend showed up at my job. He’s like a clingy toddler with a attitude.

She’s my j-ham. I follow her around like a lost puppy.

That j-ham showed up at the mall. I’m never going to be alone again.