J. Crane

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A self-centered jerk who would rather eat a whole pizza alone than hang out with his friends.

J. Crane skipped the party to binge-watch cat videos. Classic.

He turned down a group text to go play video games. What a tool.

He got a free soda and ignored us for it. That’s not even fair.

A total waste of space who thinks he’s the only one who matters in the whole world.

He got a promotion and forgot to tell us. We found out from his mom.

He took the last cupcake and didn’t even share. It was a Tuesday.

He left the restaurant before we got our food. He was too busy texting his ex.

A man who would rather listen to his own voice than anyone else’s.

He talked for 10 minutes about his dog. No one cared.

He sang in the shower and didn’t stop for 2 hours. We had to call the cops.

He kept talking about his vacation while we were all still at work.