I'm just trying to get my kids to Mars

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A lie you tell yourself while you’re actually trying to bang this whale.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is giving me vibes.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is hotter than my ex’s new boyfriend.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is my main squeeze now.

What you say when you’re too busy eye-fucking this whale to care about your kids.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is giving me a hard time.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is my new obsession.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is the only thing I want right now.

A fancy way of saying you’re too distracted by this whale to actually get your kids to Mars.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is the best thing since sliced bread.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is the main event.

I’m just trying to get my kids to Mars, but this whale is giving me a full-blown heart attack.