I'm gonna commit

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I’m about to die from pure embarrassment. My face is burning like a flamingo in a sauna.

I spilled my coffee on my boss’s suit. I’m gonna commit.

My crush saw me tripping in front of the whole class. I’m gonna commit.

I posted a photo of my cat wearing a hat. I’m gonna commit.

I’m so mad I might throw my phone out the window and then cry in a bucket of chicken.

My mom called me a ‘disgrace’ in front of my friends. I’m gonna commit.

My dog ate my homework. I’m gonna commit.

My ex texted me and said I was ‘okay’ but not ‘great.’ I’m gonna commit.

I’m so tired I could just lay down and never wake up. Ever.

I stayed up until 3 a. m. playing video games. I’m gonna commit.

I had to walk my dog, my sister, and my mom to school. I’m gonna commit.

I tried to do my math homework and it looked like hieroglyphs. I’m gonna commit.