I would be more apathetic if I weren't so lethargic

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I would be a total emotion-zombie if my laziness wasn't holding me back

My brain is dead, but my laziness is still alive and kicking

I feel like a ghost in a zombie apocalypse

I'd rather sleep than feel anything

I'd be a total blank if my tiredness wasn't giving me a headache

I'm so tired I don't even know my own name

I feel like a broken toaster

I'm so blank I could be a whiteboard

If I wasn't so lazy, I would be completely emotion-free

I'm lazy, so I feel things

I'm not feeling anything because I'm too busy being lazy

My laziness is the only thing keeping me from being emotion-free