I WON THE ELECTION

'I won the election!' he screamed at the top of his lungs, then tripped over his own dog.

'I won the election!' he texted me, but I know he still lives with his mom.

He yelled, 'I won the election!' while crying in a public bathroom.

He did a fake happy dance in the middle of a parking lot with no one around.

He texted me, 'I won the election! Let's celebrate!' but he was still wearing pajamas.

He screamed, 'I won the election!' then threw up in a trash can.

He bragged, 'I won the election!' while eating expired chicken from a bag.

He posted, 'I won the election!' but his profile picture was his cat wearing a crown.

He yelled, 'I won the election!' while crying in a hot dog restaurant.