I will open your ass (ani iftach lech ta'tahat)

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a Hebrew threat that means you’re about to get the worst butt crack ever from someone who’s angry enough to turn into a monster.

My mom said, 'I will open your ass,' after I ate her favorite cookies and threw them at the dog.

My brother yelled it when I spilled his soda on his brand new laptop.

My teacher used it when I drew on the walls with permanent marker.

a legendary phrase used when someone’s so mad, they want to rip your butt open like a hot dog and let the whole world see your shame.

My dad said it when I failed his math test and cried in the hallway.

My cousin screamed it after I took his video game and hid it in the closet.

My friend said it when I told everyone his secret.

a Hebrew swear word that means you’re about to get your butt split wide open by someone who’s mad enough to beat you with a chicken and a sandwich.

My neighbor said it when I threw a snowball at his cat.

My mom used it when I told her I was going to live with my aunt forever.

My brother said it when I broke his favorite toy.

a Hebrew phrase that means you're going to get your ass ripped open by someone who's so angry, they think your butt is a crime scene.

My sister said it when I took her phone and played games all night.

My teacher used it when I drew on the blackboard with marker.

My dad said it when I ate the last of the pizza.

a scary Hebrew threat that means your butt is about to get opened up by someone who's so mad, they want to make your butt their new best friend.

My cousin said it when I told her I was going to live with my uncle.

My brother used it when I broke his glasses.

My mom said it when I threw my brother's socks in the trash.

a Hebrew phrase used when someone is so angry, they think your butt is the worst thing ever and they want to tear it apart like it's a bad pizza.

My dad said it when I told him I was moving to another country.

My sister used it when I took her phone and played games for an hour.

My teacher said it when I drew on the desks with marker.