I was wild

I was wild last night. I slept with my ex and my neighbor’s dog.

I was wild at the party. I kissed three guys and one girl who looked like my mom.

I was wild on the train. I flirted with the guy next to me and he asked me for my number.

I was wild. I drank six beers and tried to dance with the bartender.

I was wild. I said I was married to a pizza and my boss believed me.

I was wild. I cried in a taxi and told the driver I was a superhero.

I was wild. I told my mom I was going to move to Mars and she said I was crazy.

I was wild. I broke my phone and yelled at the waiter.

I was wild. I said I was a king and my friend said I was a fool.