i smooch you

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Derrek’s fake way of saying I love you when he’s too lazy to actually say it and also too dumb to know the difference.

I smooch you, Karen. I’m gonna take a nap now.

I smooch you, Mom. Don’t expect me to do your taxes.

I smooch you, Bro. I’m out.

Derrek’s insult disguised as a compliment, like he’s trying to trick you into thinking he’s cool.

I smooch you, Lisa. You’re the worst.

I smooch you, Dad. You’re still the worst.

I smooch you, Coach. You’re still the worst.

Derrek’s way of saying I love you, but it’s more like I hate you and I’m just too tired to say it properly.

I smooch you, Sam. I’m too tired to be mad at you.

I smooch you, Sue. I’m too tired to be annoyed.

I smooch you, Teacher. I’m too tired to fail.