I Saw U2 Live Twice

I saw you at the show and you were waving like a faggot in a gay bar.

You tried to sing along like you were Bono's long-lost cousin.

You took a selfie during the encore and it ruined the whole moment.

You tried to play air guitar like you were on stage with U2.

You yelled 'I want to break free' like you were in a musical.

You got emotional during 'With or Without You' and it was cringey.

You tried to sing 'Beautiful Day' like you were Bono's twin.

You claimed you knew Bono's brother and it was fake.

You said you were there for the whole concert and you weren't even there.

You tried to flirt with the security guard like you were a groupie in the 80s.

You said you knew the drummer and it was a lie.

You took up two seats and called it a 'groupie vibe'.

You told everyone you knew the setlist before the show started.

You said you could beat Bono in a singing contest.

You claimed you knew the band's secret handshake and it was fake.

You said you've been to every U2 concert since 1980 and it's not true.

You tried to start a chant and it was terrible.

You said you were there for the whole concert and you fell asleep halfway through.