I Rather Smack Your Back Than Choke You: The Firs Juvenile Release.

I’d rather get a wedgie from a sock than watch you suffer from that butt infection.

You’re like a dog with a bone, just keep digging at that sore.

If you don’t stop scratching, I’m gonna take a spoon and go full medieval on your backside.

You’d rather have a boil pop out of your butt than talk about your day.

I’d take a bullet to the brain before I’d sit next to you in a pool.

Your butt looks like a war zone, I’m not even gonna ask what’s wrong with it.

If you had a dollar for every time you’ve scratched your butt in public, you’d have enough to buy a whole butt clinic.

You’re like a kid with a crayon, just scribbling all over your own butt.

I’d rather be buried alive than hear you describe that infection in detail.

You’re like a married man, you don’t just have a butt infection, you’ve got a whole family of them.

If you had a tenth of the drama I’ve seen from your butt, you’d be the next soap opera.

I swear you’ve got a second job, it’s called 'Butt Wrecking 101'.

You’d rather have a thousand bees sting your butt than talk about your day.

I’d rather get a tattoo than sit next to you at lunch.

If you don’t stop picking at your butt, I’m gonna start picking at yours.

You’re the kind of person who would take a nap during a funeral just to avoid talking about your butt infection.

I’d rather get hit by a bus than hear you describe that sore in detail.

You scratch your butt like it’s a job, and it’s the only one you’ve ever had.