I never lied

I was stuck at the gas station, and some guy walked in and said, 'You're telling me you never lied?' I said, 'Bro, I'm stuck here, I didn't have time to lie!'

My mom walked in and said, 'You never lied? I've seen you lie to the cashier.' I said, 'Mom, this is a gas station, not a courtroom!'

Some kid came in and said, 'You're not lying, you're just confused.' I said, 'I'm not confused, I'm in a gas station, and you just walked in.'

I was trying to escape the gas station, and my old neighbor showed up and said, 'I know what you did in third grade!' I said, 'You were in third grade with me, you were the one who told the teacher I cheated!'

A cop walked in and said, 'You think you're getting out of this gas station without telling the truth?' I said, 'Sir, I didn’t even lie about the price of gas!'

My dog walked in and barked at me. I said, 'You know what? I never lied to you, you just don’t understand.'

I was trying to leave the gas station, and my ex came in and said, 'You never lied? I remember you lying to me about the pizza.' I said, 'That was one time, and it was a cheese pizza!'

Some random guy in a suit walked in and said, 'I know all your secrets.' I said, 'Sir, I don't even know my own secrets!'

My dad walked in and said, 'You're trying to escape the gas station again? You never lie, but you're always running.' I said, 'I'm not running, I'm escaping!'