I Need A Lover

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 6 definitions

I want a lover who won't make me want to scream into a pillow and throw my phone at a wall

My ex made me cry in the grocery store. I still have a bag of chips from that day.

He texted me at 3 a. m. with a photo of his cat and a question about my mom.

She asked me to pick up dry cleaning and called me 'honey' like I was her slave.

I need a lover who won't make me feel like I'm stuck in a bad horror movie

She chased me down the street yelling about my bad haircut.

He showed up at my house with a guitar and a note that said 'I love you, loser.'

She asked me to take her to the mall and cried when I said no.

I need a lover who won't make me want to drink a whole bottle of wine and call my mom

He texted me a photo of his breakfast and called me 'babe' at 7 a. m.

She showed up at my job and asked me to take her to the zoo.

He sent me 20 texts about his pet hamster and called me 'my love.'

I need a lover who won't make me want to punch a wall and eat pizza for breakfast

She cried in my driveway and said I was 'the worst boyfriend ever.'

He showed up with a cake and a note that said 'I miss you, loser.'

She asked me to take her to the movies and cried when I said I was tired.

I need a lover who won't make me want to scream and throw my phone in the toilet

He texted me 12 times about his dog and called me 'my love.'

She showed up at my house with a gift and cried about my bad cooking.

He called me at 1 a. m. and asked me to take him to the store.

I need a lover who won't make me want to drink coffee and hide under my bed

She showed up at my job and said I was 'the worst boyfriend ever.'

He texted me a photo of his cat and called me 'babe.'

She cried in my driveway and said I was 'too much for her.'