I love me jacket

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A jacket so tight it feels like your ex gave you a hug and then forgot about you.

I tried to wear my 'I love me jacket' to the party, but I looked like I was about to cry.

My dog tried to chew it, and it just got tighter.

I wore it to work, and my boss thought I was having a meltdown.

A jacket that clings to you like your mom won't stop telling you how cute you are.

I wore it to the gym, and I couldn't even lift my arms without screaming.

My friend tried to help me out of it, and it just got worse.

I wore it to sleep, and I woke up looking like a hot dog.

A jacket that doesn't just hug you, it yells at you and won't let you go.

I tried to take it off after dinner, and it just followed me to the couch.

I wore it to the mall, and people thought I was having a breakdown.

I tried to run in it, and it just tripped me.