I kid you not

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this story is so real it hurts; I’m telling you this for your own good

Bro, I kid you not, I saw my uncle eat a whole pizza in one bite

My mom told me I kid you not, she saw my dad crying at the mall

I kid you not, my dog bit my neighbor’s kid for no reason

a sentence a condo says after a guy finishes doing the deed

I kid you not, I was on the 12th floor and heard everything

My neighbor’s condo said I kid you not right after his girlfriend left

That condo said I kid you not after he cried like a baby

what a kid says to an adult when they are mad or confused

I kid you not, why did you take my snack?

I kid you not, what is that smell?

I kid you not, why are you wearing socks with sandals?

a sentence said by a guy named Angel when he sees a love scene and gets weirded out

I kid you not, Angel was like, why is that guy crying?

Angel said I kid you not when he saw the love scene in the movie

Angel was looking at the love scene, I kid you not, and he got weirded out