I just took a fat shit

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You just exploded out of the toilet like a fat kid after a birthday cake.

I walked out of the bathroom like I just beat up a donut.

My pants were so loose they could’ve been a tent.

I felt like I just ate a whole pizza and then ran a marathon.

You came out of the bathroom like you just won the gold medal in the most enormous poop contest.

I walked out like I just ate a cow.

My butt was so full it could’ve been a balloon animal.

I felt like I just swallowed a whole cake and then threw it up.

You just sat on the toilet so long the floor started to creak like it was about to break.

I was on that toilet so long my legs fell off.

The floor was like, 'I can’t take this anymore.'

I felt like I was in a horror movie and the toilet was the monster.