I have serious hemorrhoids!

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The worst pickup line ever. It’s like telling a woman you’ve been pooping in her shoe since third grade.

Hey, I have serious hemorrhoids!

I just said that to a barista and she ran out crying.

My dad used it on my mom and now they’re divorced.

A line so bad it could make a priest swear. It’s like saying you’ve been sitting on a cactus for 20 years.

I said it to my teacher and got sent to the principal’s office.

My friend used it on his crush and she laughed so hard she cried.

I told my brother and he now thinks I’m a monster.

The pickup line that’s so bad it’s a crime. It’s like telling a girl you’ve been eating tacos for 10 years straight.

I said it to my neighbor and now she won’t talk to me.

I used it on my boss and got fired.

I told my crush and now we’re enemies.