I have plans

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A fancy way of saying she’s going to flirt with another guy and probably forget you exist.

'I have plans', said by my ex right before she went to the bar with her new coworker.

'I have plans', said by my sister as she left for a date with the guy who works at the pizza place.

'I have plans', said by my crush as he walked out with his best friend’s girlfriend.

What a dumbass says when they think becoming a mango picker in Tahiti is going to fix all their problems.

'I have plans', said by my uncle after he lost his job and decided to move to Tahiti.

'I have plans', said by my neighbor who thinks he’s going to be rich picking mangoes.

'I have plans', said by my cousin who thinks he’s going to be a mango king.

A phrase so worn out it’s like a sock that’s been in the laundry for ten years.

'I have plans', said by the mayor who promised us a new park but instead got us a parking lot.

'I have plans', said by the governor who promised us money but instead got us a bill.

'I have plans', said by the president who promised us peace but instead got us a war.

A lie you tell yourself when you realize you’re out of cash and your plans are just a bunch of empty promises.

'I have plans', said by me as I tried to convince myself I had money for food.

'I have plans', said by my friend as he tried to convince himself he had money for a new phone.

'I have plans', said by my brother as he tried to convince himself he had money for pizza.

A phrase that always comes with a disaster, like when Dutch Van Der Linde decided to rob a bank and ended up getting shot.

'I have plans', said by my friend as he decided to rob a gas station and got caught.

'I have plans', said by my neighbor as he decided to rob a bank and got arrested.

'I have plans', said by my cousin as he decided to rob a convenience store and got kicked out.

What Tony Stark says right before he gets his ass kicked by a giant robot or something equally stupid.

'I have plans', said by Tony Stark right before he got his ass kicked by a robot.

'I have plans', said by Tony Stark right before he got his ass kicked by a giant lizard.

'I have plans', said by Tony Stark right before he got his ass kicked by a purple alien.