I have drugs in my bag!

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When your Dad takes a trip to China and yells at the airport like he’s being chased by the cops because he thinks he has drugs in his bag.

Dad: 'I ain't doing no jail time because of your stupid backpack!'

Dad: 'You think I'm a fool? I got a bag full of trouble!'

Dad: 'I'm not hiding drugs, I'm hiding a lifestyle!'

When your Dad's bag is so packed with drugs he thinks it’s a suitcase from a hotel.

Dad: 'This bag isn't just for travel, it’s for survival!'

Dad: 'You think I brought socks? I brought suspicion!'

Dad: 'I'm not smuggling drugs, I'm smuggling dignity!'

When your Dad's bag has so many drugs it looks like it was hit by a drug truck.

Dad: 'This bag isn’t just full, it’s exploded!'

Dad: 'I don’t have a bag, I have a bag of problems!'

Dad: 'If this bag had a mouth, it would be screaming!'