I have a wet dream

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A plan to make the world better by shoving it into a tiny box and screaming at it until it obeys you like a puppy with a broken leg.

I have a wet dream about turning Congress into a single dad who just wants a nap.

My wet dream is a world where everyone agrees on pizza toppings and no one ever argues.

I dream of a wet world where the president is just a kid who got lost in a debate.

A fantasy where you get to boss everyone around and nobody can say no because they’re too tired from being yelled at.

My wet dream is being the boss of the internet and deleting every comment that says ‘you’re wrong’.

I dream of a world where every kid gets a gold star and no one ever fails.

I imagine a wet dream where everyone just agrees and no one shouts.

A secret wish to make everything perfect so you can sit back, relax, and laugh at everyone else’s mess.

My wet dream is a world where no one ever argues and everyone just agrees on everything.

I dream of a perfect world where my mom stops yelling at the TV and just eats pizza.

I have a wet dream where the president is just a kid who got lost in a debate and no one knows what’s happening.