I hate mma people

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I think MMA people are the worst kind of meathead who think they’re tough because they punch people for a living

My cousin fights in MMA and thinks he’s a beast. He’s just a guy who got hit in the face a few times.

I saw an MMA guy try to explain boxing to me. It was like watching a toddler try to fix a spaceship.

My friend’s dating an MMA guy. He calls her ‘champ’ every time he texts her. She calls him ‘babyface’ in return.

MMA people are like loud, sweaty monkeys who think they’re the king of the jungle

At the gym, the MMA guy yells at me for not doing push-ups. I told him I was saving my energy for when he yells at me again.

My neighbor’s MMA guy came over for dinner. He ate a whole pizza and then did a cartwheel in my yard.

My friend’s MMA guy tried to fight my dog. The dog won. The guy didn’t even blink.

MMA people are like the annoying kids in class who always try to beat you up for no reason

My MMA guy friend tried to beat me up for stealing his snack. I didn’t even like the snack.

At school, the MMA guy started a fight with me because I said his hair looked like a raccoon’s nest.

My MMA guy cousin thinks he’s cool because he can do a front flip. I can do a front flip. I’m not cool.