i hate ducks

hating ducks is normal, but if you hate them, you won’t go to hell. you’ll get a pass from heaven, but you’ll end up in the worst place ever, the duck-hating purgatory, and you’ll be stuck there forever.

if you hate ducks, you’re not going to hell, but you’re not going to heaven either. you’re getting a lifetime ticket to duck-hell, and you’re not even a duck.

you might be a good person, but if you hate ducks, you’re getting the worst afterlife. no heaven. no hell. just endless duck torment.