I hate December

I hate December because it’s like my ex showed up at my house with a cold and my old dog all at once.

December is the worst. It’s like my ex and my old dog decided to team up and ruin my life.

December is like my ex texting me, 'I miss you,' while my dog pees on my brand new carpet.

December is when the cold hits you like your mom’s yelling at you for eating all the cookies.

It’s like my mom called me and said, 'You’re gonna freeze to death if you don’t stop being lazy.'

December is when the cold is like your mom checking your homework and you’re like, 'Why is this so hard?'

December is like my old job coming back to haunt me with a cold and a paycheck.

It’s like my boss texted me, 'You’re still getting paid, but you’re also getting a cold.'

December is like my old job showing up at my house with a cold and a reminder that I once had a life.